60 Seconds of Awakening

As the award ceremony is yet to begin she starts reading the following from a random page of her book.

“Dear diary,

You are my true happiness amidst my busy IT work life. I am glad that I meet you every day. So, this is my record for today.

It was a much-needed weekend after one hectic week at work. The feeling of emptiness in my life has never changed despite having enough money and a sophisticated lifestyle. After all, that is the reason for this aspiring writer to seek your company daily.

The book that I read this morning spoke about how God guides us indirectly through omens that we fail to understand. It also spoke about how the universe conspires to help someone achieve their dreams.

The evening visit to the sea-shore was interesting as well. It was nice watching the waves playing among themselves. The wave that started later was trying to race the former ones, to reach the shore first. And…”

As I was doing my routine of journal writing for the day, my mind was refusing to get back from the evening visit to the sea-shore. It was searching for some answers that made my day incomplete.

There is something that I was trying to resolve as if I was given a puzzle. I knew, it would not let me sleep if it’s left unsolved.

I walked up to the terrace to get some fresh air.

All my life, I had tried to figure out my dream job. However, I couldn’t find anything else interesting as much as writing/ blogging. I knew and regret the fact that it was my fault to have quit writing in order to become an IT professional, the career that I had to choose by default, because that’s how the society has trained the young graduates in our country.

Being an Engineer by profession, I have always gone through the agony of living between ‘Not liking my profession’ and ‘finding difficult to work on my passion’. I fight hard to be logical and rational at my work, where I was forced, not to be so.

I know that the career I chose looks too good from outside. I had judged the book by its cover is what I can say. Today, I’m sitting like a cat on the wall, not knowing where to jump. I wanted to resign and start learning the art of writing but I know I wouldn’t. However, I make it a point to write whenever I get a chance.

No matter how many times I lose in the writing contests, I never fail to participate in any such event that makes me write. My every day struggle in a love-hate relationship with my career continued.

At times, I write to forget. Most of the times, I forget to write.

After all, life goes on. And, I have now gone to the terrace.

The terrace was calm with the silent wind. I closed my eyes, inhaled some fresh air and let my mind to wander around, so that it could find the answers that it was searching for.

Travelling to the sea-shore, where I was spending some ‘my time’ that evening, my mind recollected that soft touch of a tiny finger on my shoulder. The scene gets played sequentially in my mind.

I turned back and shared a warm smile with the little girl who would be around 3 to 4 years old. Her tender face was so familiar to me that helped us to communicate with ease. She asked me if she could share with me, the story that she had narrated in her school’s storytelling competition. Even before I nodded, the tiny tot that stood behind me had started narrating the story.

“One fine evening, there was a parrot that was flying all over the forest in order to find its way out.”

As soon as, she started narrating the story in her mesmerizing voice, I went into it completely, staring at the sea in front of me. That tone of the narration was so serene and magical that would attract anyone to it easily.

She continued uninterrupted.

The forest turned dark and the parrot was almost tired that it sat and wept praying to God for help. Pitying the weeping parrot, God appeared and asked what it wanted from him.

The parrot said, “I was living in the palace nearby, where I was given a golden cage and was treated well as I was the King’s lucky charm. My work seems to be okay though it is not interesting. My King was visiting the neighborhood and I accompanied him as usual.

Now that, I have missed my way while travelling with the King, I am suffering in this jungle tired of flying the whole evening. Please, help me find my way back to my Golden cage in the kingdom.”

God replied to the parrot’s plea saying, “But oh my dear parrot, you were born to fly high in the open sky and the place you are trying hard to escape is your home. The golden cage or the livelihood you were living in the palace is not permanent and also, is not meant for you. Anytime, the King feels you are not a good fortune for the kingdom, you will end up losing your life inside that golden cage. And, the truth is that, it was me who brought you back to your home by making you lose the way.”

“Yes, I was happy flying around the forest. But I got used to live inside the golden cage. I don’t know if I can make my life here in the jungle. Also, why didn’t you tell me about this while I was flying through the jungle all evening to seek my way out?” The tired and angry parrot asked God.

God patiently answered the parrot with a smile.

“Oh dear, I wanted you to realize that you could fly high and enjoy the beautiful nature which is your home as you were all time staying in the golden cage living how others wanted you to live.
Now that you are confused between the profession that pays you well and your passion that you have forgotten amidst your sophisticated busy life in the King’s palace, I give you 60 seconds to think and decide from your heart, if you would want to stay home in the forest and do what you were born to do, or continue to live your life as the King’s favorite parrot.”

It was a perfect silence in the ambiance.

I am not sure if the parrot did, but I keenly started watching my wrist watch counting from 1 to 59 in mind and rushed back in curiosity to ask the little girl about the parrot’s decision.

To my shock, there was no one around. I was breathless for a second. My eyes wandered around the entire sea-shore in search of that girl.

I involuntarily picked up my ringing mobile and said, “Yes mom, I am heading home right now”.

Recollecting this magical memory in the silent terrace, I felt the tear drops rolling down my cheeks. I wipe them and smile staring at the alluring bright moon in the dark sky. Yes, God had played with words. Not just in the ‘Parrot story’.

“Who was telling the story? And whose story was it anyway?”

The words fluttered and flew in the wind.

I, then walked into my room to complete my journal writing and slept in peace as I came to know what the parrot has decided for its life.

The next morning, holding a cup of coffee in my left hand, I opened the laptop to write my resignation letter. As I was drafting it, the doorbell rang, and it was a call letter from a familiar magazine that I had applied for my internship a few months ago.

Neither was I surprised nor was I shocked this time. Because, I knew it was godsend. Not the internship invite but the little angel that had changed my life in 60 seconds.

The page flips and the photograph of the famous writer came out of the book peeping the huge crowd that came to visit her.

Turning to the last page of the book, the writer smiles as the random page that she had read has reminded her about her early days of struggle becoming a successful writer and her life-changing visit to the sea-shore.

Realizing that her fans were standing in a long queue to get their copy autographed by her, she started signing them one after the other. She now knew that the taste of success is not in earning money but in doing more of what she loves.

She proudly goes to the podium, receives the award, and starts her short but sharp speech.

“A very pleasant morning to All!
It is all about living the life that your heart yearns for. If you are labelled by the society as irresponsible or crazy, it is ok. Live your dreams even if you are hit several times, get molded, and come out as a beautiful statue.
Your success will write a dictionary to let the world understand you better.”

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Awakening After Being Lost!

I am sitting upstairs admiring the calm wind mingling with the peaceful night sky and I start drafting my post.This is how I feel right now. Just going to let the emotions flow without hesitations. Firstly, sorry that I was not posting here for long. Still, I was writing down in my diary very often. I couldn’t post them here because I have a principle that when people read my posts they should get the positive vibe and not just the lamenting. So I make it a point that I end all my posts with a positive note.

This time I wonder where I am lost. Still, I promise to do my best in this post. Yes, It’s high time that I had to give up on my ‘I’m all fine’ faking attitude coming out of my very concealed shell.

So, this is it.”I am lost”.image

Sometimes when you have lost a precious thing, you worry until your memory convinces you to forget about it. But what I have lost is my priceless time and also many of my dreams in my life. Every time I take a step forward to awake and live the joy of my dreams, I am taken aback two steps only to harshly remind myself that “it will always remain a dream”.

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I as any other human being, have many realistic and simple dreams like ‘enjoying a peaceful meditation’, ‘loving the soulful art’, ‘knowing my creator more’, ‘reading a good book at least once in 30days’,’to give back something to my society’, ‘to encourage people for leading a happy life’, ‘call my home to just say a hello at least once in a day’, ‘to stop, watch and take a fresh deep breath amidst a greenish nature’, above all just to realise that I am still alive.

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Not that I’m in a presidential post that makes me this busy holding me away from my dreams, it is all because of the fact that am not living my life out from my heart. My heart continuously cries that “you don’t fit in here, my dear soul ”

This is why I came here to tell you people never take or compromise your life decisions for someone else. After all, it is you who is going to undergo the pain later. Once a wrong decision is made you will lose the control of your life and you will lose interest in what ever you do eventually.

If you have done the same mistake and now sailing on the same boat of mine, let’s think what can be done now to this ship wrecked feeling of ours. After all, we are just wandering and not totally lost.

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Firstly, let’s admit that what is gone is already gone. Now it’s time to move on with the rest of what we have in our hands. Though it is difficult to accept, it will definitely give you some peace. With this, you can step forward to the next stage.

Being said that, we should now take a sincere resolution. Yes, from the bucket list of your lovely dreams pick one (that you love the most/ based on your convenience / any other good reason). No matter what, be determined that you implement it. I would suggest, pick one that will help you to get a life so that you climb the ladder first. But remember, just one at a time. Too many things may carry you back to the old position. On this process don’t get dejected thinking about your past attempts that have failed. Simply because that’s never going to help you.

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Now that you have picked one, draw a feasibility about your dream to come true.I agree there may be many hurdles that you got to jump over even before getting in the race to realize your dream. But with a positive attitude think what can help you get you nearer to your dream. It may be browsing or doing a small research online so that you will get to know if you have to make little changes in your life like shifting to a new place nearer to a sports or music club or a fitness center or a peaceful ambiance or anything related to your dream. And yes, don’t expect everything to happen very soon. It may take some time. It’s okay. Let’s give time some time.

When it is all said and done, set up the ground, start playing to shoot out your goals!

My eyes widen along with a word of wow from my mouth, I happily watched the colorful crackers that burst in the dark night sky (from the near by wedding hall) showing the sign for the realization of my dreams coming soon. Yes, I am done with this post too.

I started with step one with positive hopes to move on and on so that I reach my first goal.

And this is for all my lovely readers!image

(Image courtesy- Google)

-TRM

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I am..

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God Grant Me…

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Do All The Good You Can

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Character

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How to romance your guilty conscience?

Hi All,

It’s been long time since I had done a full length blog post. I come here, mostly, to clear my mind. So, yes, something had been pricking my conscience and I am trying to romance it in a classy way. As I always say, I know I would be completely fine once I complete this post.

Before getting into the ‘how’ part, let me explain what had brought me here. It could help you relate with your circumstances better.

From what I see, there are two types of reasons for feeling guilty. 

One, you wronged/ betrayed someone whom you respect. 

The rest of all reasons should fall under the one fact that you have wronged yourself or your conscience. Either, you got rejected by something, or, you rejected something and went against your passion.

The later, mostly, is not visible to us, but is the most difficult one to overcome.

I have felt guilty for enormous times in my life for having wronged the people whom I truly respect and care about. However, I was able to overcome from them at some point-of-time.

Dealing with the self hurt is the toughest part as the conscience know you and your passion well. The guilt is so proportional to the power of your passion. More you are passionate about, more will be the guilt in you. It is almost a fight between you and your passion.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I am someone who had not faced rejections in life until I crossed my teens, or even I could say, until I entered the early 20’s. This rejection I am talking about is neither about unrequited love nor about missing a noble prize. 

However, for illustration purpose, I would say, it is more like losing your soulmate than like being scared to propose your crush. Something intensely emotional. Reasons could differ based on the situation.

Okay, so let’s get back to the first rejection I had faced. I was rejected by something I never wanted or valued. However, it was something that I never had imagined would happen. So I would say, I was rejected by my confidence for the first time in my life. Sometimes, I rejected something. Other times, I got rejected. Either way, I underwent so much stress. I’ve even sat and wept for something I had never liked. From that great start to till date, I have experienced many such things and of course, through out the process, I have learnt well. However, the scar still remains vividly. It will, for the rest of my life. After all, that’s how the first rejection works.

I have already written a post on this four years back, you can read it here, if you would want to know more about it.

Where do you think, the word ‘guilt’ gets in here? 

Firstly, for the reason that we cannot easily accept our defeat if it hurts our ego. Second reason possible could be that only at this juncture, our mind thinks we could have listened to others than being independent and cherishing our goals/ dreams. This way, though it might wrong our passion, we could have avoided some embarrassing moments.

Having failed in something we hate, we can sit back and relax. However, the world starts welcoming us with sarcastically healthy criticisms. Even if we are brave enough and can move on, we are now shouldering a great pressure of not failing in anything we step into next.

This makes you feel guilty for not winning/ getting that thing you hated the most. In other words, you feel guilty that you are not helping yourself to fulfill your passion. This happens when the heart cries for its soul.

So what do we do now to overcome the guilt that is not letting us to lead a peaceful life?

The only way to overcome this guilty conscience is to romance with it. Yes, you read that right. No matter what, you have to deal with it. Love it, feel it, go through the pain, and then bid adieu to it genuinely. Else, this guilt is going to chase you till your grave.

This is how you can romance the guilt in you.

  • Firstly, forgive yourself. It’s really OK.
  • Maintain your class, be grateful to the scar it left in you. 
  • Listen to it and learn the lessons carefully.
  • Let it hurt, feel it. Cry aloud, until your eyes gets tired of wearing the tears. 
  • Shout it out, until your mind vents all its fear and anger. You would attain a silent phase after this.
  • Walk in peace and wait for a stage where you feel you have gone through it completely. 
  • Most important part is the final one. Gracefully bid adieu and move on. Don’t leave any remainings left inside your heart.

If you need more help in how to wake up to a fresh new happy life. Read my previous article on ‘Awakening-after-being-lost’.

Respect and listen to your conscience because it is nothing but an inner voice coming straight from your soul.

Live and sleep in peace. Wish you all have a happy guilt-free life.

Image Courtesy: Google Images

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Females are humans too and woman is not at all an object for you to consume, even if you have lost your mind

Be it Bangalore or Chennai, India or any other country. The only point girls are trying to say to this world since ages is that, “Females are humans too and woman is not at all an object for you to consume, even if you have lost your mind”.
This is a poem or an article that I wrote for a women’s day celebration few years back(during Nirbhaya times). Sadly, it was one similar incident that made me write this and now has come another incident that has forced me to publish this.
Please understand that girls don’t have to plead for it at all. Yes, it is not for all men. However, I am afraid if any genuine person would drink a glass of wine and join the crowd tomorrow. Sometimes it happens because of hormones and sometimes because of liquor. Whatever the reasons may be, the victims are almost the same every single time, women.
I have read enough of news articles and posts on the Bangalore New Year Eve issue. OK people, business done. More than enough. Now, somebody please tell me who or what is going to stop these incidents of shame from occurring in the future.
It may take place in a different city or country, it may be for another new reason that time. However, we all know it is going to happen in the future as I don’t see a single post discussing about the solution to stop this.
Disclaimer: I am no expert in Tamil. Just publishing it as an emotional outcome from women.

 

 

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A Great Journey Indeed! 

Heartfelt thanks to WP and everyone who had shared this journey with me.

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New Year 2017!

A new year, a new life!

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To Everyone of Us! 

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The Never Ending Race!

In today’s world, there are only two types of people. People who have succeeded and the rest who spend all their lives longing for it. Now comes the question, how do one measure success?

I would say it is the satisfaction or the amount of peace and joy you are left with after 25 years since your birth. Though the retirement age is fixed by the government/organizations as 60 or so, our life wants us to retire from peace and joy very soon after our teens. Unfortunately, in the current scenario, it is even earlier.

Our parents would have designed a miniature in their minds of how our lives should be for the next 20 years immediately after we come to this earth. Even before the child would recognize them, they would decide if their son would become a doctor or an engineer (yes, just these). In my case, this did not happen. However, I am not sure if I should feel happy for that.

Not to blame the parents, as the world would have run the race further than they thought it would. This made them buy learning aids for their children instead of toys. The electronic world here took the advantage and grew its business. It convinced the parents that it would improve their children’s IQ. (Really?)

When a child wanted to play with toys, it was given electronic gadgets. When it wanted to learn to walk and run, it was admitted into a playschool. By the time it started recognizing the alphabets and numbers, the parents wanted it to recite poems and talk fluently in English as their neighborhood kids have succeeded in it already.

Now that they would have been victimized for not winning the competition with the rest of the child population, they are put into some of the great private institutions that cost more. More the fee, more the child will be equipped to run the race. A myth, parents are made to believe. Education has now turned into a profitable business. Yes, you read that right. (No, I’m really not blaming them)

The children would have completed their fifth grade. The parents gear up to put their kids in the best IIT JEE coaching classes. Children spend extra hours of classes and studies within the school and with the private tutors outside. They forget something called playing with friends (who are now merely their competitors). This includes the relatives, who talk more about grades and hardly about the greatness of relationships. Not to blame them too.

In their 9th grade, school coaches them for the 10th board exams. In the 11th grade, it coaches them for 12th board exams.  It is needless to mention, about the entrance tests. By the time the teens settle into their (parent’s) wish-listed universities that have good placements, they realize that they have wasted their teen life. Now that they wanted to enjoy the rest of their lives, they think college life is the only chance. However, they were asked questions like why you chose that course or college. College life has now turned into a confused state for them.

Time doesn’t wait for these confused college goers, they were forced into getting placed in some XYZ MNCs even before they start thinking about choosing their career. Not interested in being one among the crowd, some feel reluctant towards it. They concentrate on their dreams. The pressure starts coming from all around which includes family, friends, relatives, neighborhood, the institution and mainly their own college mates.

Few would have lost their path in this pressure. The rest would have fulfilled the society’s wish of getting placed. Rarely, a very few would have actually chosen their dream path. They graduate just to be terrified by the aftermath life. They are just in their mid-twenties but the word ‘responsibility’ itself would have become a burden to them. It is only after college they start living their lives. They do a tiresome job hunt and get settled with anything that would help to shut ‘that’ relative’s mouth. They regret for the first time for not being in the crowd that moved to some XYZ MNC on campus as the so-called reality says on-campus candidates are way brighter and intelligent.

With mild hopes of getting a second chance for proving themselves to the society, they work towards their dream while fulfilling the society’s demand of earning money (the only way to earn some respect from them). They get exhausted in the battle of getting admitted in some of the prestigious institutions for specializations after going through quotas and reservations which are very much inclined to the caste system irrespective of the financial background of the candidates.

Striving hard amidst their dream and the reality of this world, the twenties phase of life is almost gone. Sadly, every aspiring youngster in India is trained by the society to run the race even if he/she is not really interested. By the time they realize what/why they are running behind, they lose all their peace and joy. The funniest part is that it is the same point of time where these exhausted souls are expected to commit themselves to newer relationships. Yes, it is nothing but the marriage pressure (humans do have expiry dates it seems).

Finally, the once aspiring youngsters will be leading a boring life of getting underpaid in a company and paying loans all through their professional life. Dear readers, do you think it is over?

No, as history repeats itself, the same cycle is repeated to their next generation. Not because he/she wanted his/her child to achieve what they couldn’t, not because he/she wanted to secure the child’s life, not because the nation needs good leaders or businessmen but just because the competition never stops and the race never ends. It is also mainly because the society never stops comparing.

Desperately hoping for a positive change for the future generations to breath, play, eat, sleep and grow healthy with loads of happiness and peace because everyone needs some childhood memories to cherish later.

There isn’t a better picture to fit in here.

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Image courtesy: Google Images

-TRM

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